The most popular kids
Jose Bautista
PROS
His at bats are amongst the most exciting in baseball. He
takes a home run swing at every pitch.
Has a gun of an arm in Right Field.
His rise was the beginning of the rebirth of YOUR Toronto Blue
Jays. You get to cheer “HOOOO-ZAAAY, HOZAY,
HOZAY, HOZAY, HO ZAYYYYYY, HO ZAYYYYYY”
CONS
He is coming off wrist surgery which is super scary for a
slugger. Who knows if he will be the
same Jose. He complains way too much to
the umpires.
R.A. Dickey
PROS
He throws a knuckle ball.
You can make a million puns and double entendres with his name. Reigning
Cy Young award winner. You get to say
“Dickey the Best”.
I believe he honestly has a chance to be the most popular
athlete in the city if he performs like he did last year. He is mature, articulate and beyond compassionate. I mean what did you do with your vacation
time?
CONS
Dome will likely be closed when he pitches as it helps the
knuckler.
Brett Lawrie
PROS
Crazy talented. He’s Canadian if that matters to you. He
gives max effort all the time.
CONS
Can’t seem to dial his energy back so he frequently makes
stupid mistakes. All signs indicate he
is a major douche.
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/brett-lawrie-the-toronto-blue-jays-superstar-is-still-sad-about-high-school-sports
Jose Reyes
PROS
One of the most exciting all-round players in the game. Good friends with Carlos Delagado. And this:
A bit of an injury risk. Under contract to be paid a
whopping $22M his age 35 season.
My favourite from this group is a tie between Jose and
Dickey.
The interesting kids
Emilio Bonifacio
PROS
You can call him Boneface.
He can play every position except pitcher or catcher. Very underrated.
CONS
Doesn’t have a defined position. Might just be a super sub.
Steve Delabar
PROS
His back story is right out of the movie “The Rookie”
starring Dennis Quaid. He strikes a lot
of guys out and his split finger fastball is devastating.
CONS
His arm may fly off at any moment likely causing a horrific
scene at the ballpark and scarring many children forever.
Edwin Encarnacion
PROS
Finally reached his potential last year. It is no longer dangerous to sit behind 1st
base at the game because EE no longer has to play third base. When he hits a Home Run he does the “T-Rex”
when rounding the bases.
Casey Janssen
PROS
He works fast. Had a
great year last year. I still think he
could be starter again, but why mess with a good thing. This photo:
CONS
The double S in his last name is confusing. His shoulder always seems to be a bit of a
question mark.
Josh Johnson
PROS
According to the ladies, he’s gorgeous. Been a trade target of the Jays for a years and
now they finally have him. When he is
feeling right, he can shut down any team in baseball. Big strong thrower.
CONS
Some questions about his shoulder. Only one year left on his contract so he may
not be here long.
Brandon Morrow
PROS
Has the best “Pure Stuff” on the staff. We got him in a trade for Brandon League...I
mean c’mon what a heist. He has recently
grown a beard which seems to suit him well.
CONS
You can’t share candy with him because he is diabetic.
From this group I would go with Casey….he’s awesome.
Old Reliables - They are what they
are
Mark Buehrle
PROS
He seems to really care about the welfare of animals. He
pitches really fast i.e. works fast, so his games are short.
CONS
He seems to care a little toooooo much about the welfare
of animals. His pitches really slow i.e. he doesn’t have
much of a fastball and the AL East could eat him up. This pit bull discussion is going to
draaaaaaag on and on and on. His last name is impossible to spell, even when
you have it right it looks wrong.
BUEHRLE?? Really?
Rajai Davis
PROS
Still one of the fastest guys in the league. Pretty much set
as the 4th outfielder. Pretty
good against LHP, which means he should pitch hit for Lind a lot.
CONS
He always seems like he is on the verge of crying. You would love your 4th outfielder
to be able to play defence a bit better.
His family circus routes to fly balls are hilarious.
Maicer IzturisPROS
Dependable versatile infielder. First real free agent the Jays have signed in
years.
CONS
Another tough name to spell and pronounce. Buck will butcher this one I’m sure. He may be the second best 2B on the team
behind Boneface.
Darren Oliver
PROS
His nickname is Black Magic.
Enough said.
CONS
He is OLD. I mean like really OLD. He may or may not have tried to
blackmail/leverage the team this past off season using the threat of
retirement.
Gotta go with Izturis in this group.
The kids with chips on their shoulders
cause they got something to prove
JP Arencibia
PROS
Seems to really love being a Blue Jay. Has a lot of power in that bat. Has improved defensively and is a hard
worker.
CONS
Can’t get on base and he’s not Travis D’arnaud.
Melky Cabrera
PROS
Signed for a huge discount.
Led the NL in batting average last year.
You can call him the MELK MAN!
CONS
He used steroids, he got caught and he served his
suspension. It’s done. I don’t care
anymore.....but it will be a story all season long.
Brett Cecil
PROS
The goggles
I mean c’mon that’s enough isn’t it? Hopefully he has found a home in the
bullpen…..because he really shouldn’t be given another chance to start ever
again.
CONS
He will always be the 2nd best Brett on the team
Jeremy Jeffress
PROS
His pro marijuana stance should make him a fan favourite
with the 21 year old burnouts.
CONS
He really likes smoking pot..... I mean a lot. He can’t seem to stop smoking it even it
means he keeps getting suspended and missing out on the opportunity to play in
the Majors.
Colby Rasmus
PROS
Super talented. Still
time to put it all together. Hates Tony
La Russa.....so does everyone with half a brain.
CONS
The corn rows....oh the corn rows. What were you thinking Colby?
Or is it the mukluks?
Ricky Romero
PROS
Mentally tough, has had to battle hard. Wants success as bad as anyone in baseball. You can call him RR COOL J.
CONS
Dear Ricky and every other pitcher on the Jays: STOP FUCKIN
PITCHING HURT! YOU ARE NOT IMPRESSING
ANYONE. YOU ARE HURTING THE TEAM AND
RISKING ANOTHER INJURY.
Sergio Santos
PROS
Was a former Jay minor league SS a lifetime ago. Not a converted flame thrower. Will likely end being the closer at some
point.
CONS
Has been hurt since he got here....and man is that one ugly
delivery.
Outta this group I’m a JP guy.
These guys should not be your
favourite player
The back-up catcher: Josh
Thole OR Henry Blanco – No he isn’t better than Arencibia. Stop calling Jays Talk and suggesting
this. Just stop it now.
Mark DeRosa - I’m
pretty sure he is only on the team to make sure everyone gets to the bus on
time and to tuck everyone into their beds when they are on the road. “Goodnight
Jose, did you remember to brush your teeth?
Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite”
Chad Jenkins –
Only if you like mediocre AAA starters who pitch for Buffalo!
J.A. Happ – Also
destined for Buffalo, but I think we will see him at some critical point this
year. The one guy who got royally
screwed by the Jays big moves this off season.
Dustin McGowan – What??
He is still a Blue Jay? What is this
2008? I kid, I kid. But seriously Dustin,
you gave it a good go, and no matter how hard you try, at this point we know
how this ends.
Brad Lincoln – He
really loves guns. Sigh.
Adam Lind – This
entry could be a thousand words long.
How about he shouldn’t be your favourite player because he can’t hit
left-handed pitching (like at all), he doesn’t seem to care, he is often out of
shape and my back is in better condition than his and he is the pro athlete
being paid millions, not me.
Esmil Loup &
Aaron Rogers – Quick tell me one interesting thing about Aaron Loup/Esmil
Rogers!
.......and the correct answer to who should be your
favourite Toronto Blue Jay?
That’s easy, it should be Anthony Gose. He’s going to be awesome! One more year or less.
No comments:
Post a Comment